It was a muggy summer night in Chicago. We had been shooting all day and wrapped a three day catalog shoot. We took a few hours to eat and go dancing at a club near the studio, and then go back to the studio to shoot some more.

I don’t remember the year… late 80’s I think. Had dinner at the Hard Rock, so it was after it had opened – but not long. I know this because it was still a very ‘hip’ place to go and we had reservations there courtesy the client. Walked right past the long lines and was seated. Me, Chicago studio mate, his assistant, and 3 models from Elite.

After shooting catalog stuff for three days I was really busting to do something for me. This model, and I do not remember her name, was up for anything. When we got back to the studio, my assistant had dutifully packed all the gear for shipping back to Phoenix, and I was not about to unpack it. My assistant was very nice, but she would have killed me after she spent 3 hours crating and packing.

So, I grabbed a roll or two of T-Max 3200 that the Kodak rep had told me to try. Why not, we had a half moon and a clear Chicago evening… even had a streetlight out side across from the window to give me cross light.

She was a bit disheveled from dancing and wanted to have her friend do her hair. NO WAY – I loved the messy look of it, and convinced her to let me get a few shots at least before it was ‘put back together’.

You have to realize that it was about 4AM, and we were still wired from the shoot.

I decided to make a Polaroid of the shot, but by the time I had figured out the reciprocal value for the long exposure and she had tried to hold still for a 40″ exposure, it really didn’t do much for me. (Edit: I was asked about the Polaroid, and what camera I used for that. I used the F3 with a Polaroid back on it. It rendered a 35mm sized Polaroid in the corner of a piece of a small Polaroid print. The backs were made for us by a couple of different NY shops. Take the back off the camera, and replace it with the Polaroid back – take the shot, process the Polaroid(s) – and replace the back when finished. THEN load film. You cannot do this with a roll of film in the camera.)

So screw it, we shoot and get what we get… I knew we would have a good negative at least. The two previous rolls had come out very nicely.

To the window we went. She was looking off kind of melancholy (she missed her husband who was one of the Crosby/Stills/Nash guys, but honestly I don’t remember which) and I started snapping. She turned to me and gave me a big ol’ model smile.

I snapped… and then urged her to go ahead and look out the window, and just be herself – not a model. “Go ahead and miss him”. I said. I had enough smiling shots to last a lifetime… here was something real, and I wanted that.

She did, and I snapped a roll.

We shot a few other shots that evening and I got some good fashion stuff – but this portrait of her looking longingly out the window has stayed with me. I like the emotion it captures, and I like the look of the image. The grain MAKES the patina of the image so strong.

Lighting is as I said – moonlight out the window, and a streetlight down the street (camera left) and to her right. I had a large white fome core board behind her. There was minimum ambient light in the studio.

Camera was a Nikon F3 with a 180MM, f2.8 Nikkor. Shot at f2.8, at 1/125 at ISO 3200 and pushed about 10% cause I wanted more contrast.

We were discussing a project at the Project 52 Flickr group, and the use of film and high ISO was a prominent part of the thread. Eric will be shooting some Kodak 3200 tomorrow evening as he walks the street of a famous west coast town where several people have left their hearts.

We wish him well as he goes off into the night loaded with some old technology film in a beautiful F5.

Til next time…

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