IN SEARCH OF
Tuesday morning I got up later than expected for my drive to San Diego. My short journey/road trip was to see Dan Winters, a favorite photographer of mine, do a talk on his photography.
The venue was the Museum of Photographic Arts in Balboa Park, so that was just an added plus.
I made my way to Maricopa so I could shave some miles off (and get back on schedule) and go through Mobile to Gila Bend – along with 200 others who must have made that same decision. First time ever I have seen that little-known stretch of asphalt so busy.
I decided last minute to drive the car and leave the motorcycle pouting in the garage. It wasn’t the weather that gave me pause, but the insanity of CA drivers on crowded I8 and downtown San Diego. I dunno, just didn’t feel right so I caged it over.
Stopped in Yuma to do my mid-morning class and although we had a rough WiFi start, we ended up getting it done once I moved a bit toward town for a better signal.
The drive was uneventful. It usually is on an Interstate. Not much to do but go fast and aim.
I noticed that in California the stretch east of El Centro had a new look to it. Where the center area of the freeway had once been natural desert (low bushes, natural growth) it was now graded smooth. Just barren dirt.
I would like to think there was a reason for it, but for the life of me, I cannot imagine why someone thought this a good idea.
Anyway, you want to hear about the Winters presentation. I will do that right now.
The MOPA had a group show that was very interesting, and Virginia Smith, Mike Moore and I took a few minutes to check out the work. It ranged from the predictable ‘arty’ stuff to several wonderful pieces by little-known photographers who were really showing unique and satisfying work.
The Winters show opened the doors and we bolted for the front. I sit up front at any of these sorts of presentation. (Have you ever noticed how many people instantly sit at the back of the room as though being up front may be terrifying for them? WTF, people… get in close!)
Winters started the show with his celebrity portraits and they were of course stunning. Most everything he showed is seen on his website, but there were some gems that I hadn’t seen before. I liked that he didn’t go on and on about how the celebrities were but focused on what he was doing to make the shot. I am not interested in celebrities, but I am interested in amazing portraiture.
(NOTE 1):
Most of the shots you see in his portfolio that have really interesting backgrounds (Helen Mirren, Ryan Gosling, the Star Wars Portraits) are sets he and his crew build. Whether in his Austin studio or on location, he leaves very little to chance, instead, he creates the environment he wants from scratch.
He showed some lovely illustrations – pencil and paint – and then we got to the personal work.
Absolutely breathtaking personal work. His son growing through the years, his wife, a best friend who was dying of cancer had his last moments with Winters and his family.
This was the work that stayed with me for the entire drive back to the valley.
A stunningly simple portrait of his wife.
The stitches in his young sons chin after a pool accident.
A man leaning against a window of light gazing out and understanding what mortality actually means.
The hands of a long forgotten warrior.
My God it makes me emotional even as I write this. This is the power of still photography. Nothing to distract the viewer from the pureness of a vision. Or the subject.
(NOTE 2):
Winters approaches his portraits with the same sense of vulnerability and curiosity whether the subject is a famous actor or a WWII veteran or his own child. It is a fascination of the ability of a photograph to reveal and obscure at the same moment. To show us what matters, and to leave out what doesn’t.
Winters is a consummate maker of images that will stand the tests of time.
(NOTE 3):
He shoots all of the time, wherever he is. His camera is with him and he is looking for moments that mean something to him. No shots of lunches, humblebragging hotel rooms, or ‘lookatmeI’mfamous’ shit. He is far more interested in still photography than 90% of the rest of us who carry a camera around and snap-snap.
I think he made me look at what I am doing with new eyes. I am unimpressed.
My game has to move higher now. I simply cannot imagine continuing on this same path. It is unsustainably uninteresting to me. What I shall do is still unclear, but something has to change in my vision of the art.
— —
The trip home from Julian took me through my beloved Anza Borrego Desert. The light sucked due to dark clouds that encompassed the path of the sun all the way to Yuma. The dreadful flat light prevented me from even thinking about getting the Canons out. I took a shot of the badlands, and a snap of a small rock art piece left by some intrepid traveler, but that was more for a record of the place than an image.
I thought about Winters’ photography and his commitment to the power of his images. I thought about where I am going and where I came from. I thought about what it means to be a photographer and wondered if I had forgotten the true magic in the quest for the technical proficiency that is the trap of this art?
The desert was dry in the early morning dreariness. I stood on a hill in the relatively cool 52-degree weather and stared at a landscape both beautiful and terrifying and wondered if I will ever understand what it is I do and have done for decades?
Perhaps someday thanks in part to artists like Winters I think it may be possible. Maybe. Hopefully.
Now back to the freeway to aim my car and go fast to get home.
